Judgement….

Sharing a Powerful Realization/Experience/Activation I wrote in “2020” but never shared that led me to this HIGHER Understanding/Remembering/Feeling/Knowing of Judgment, how energy flows, the Ego and how it all affected my vibrational frequency/Life/Reality.. I wrote this article based off a Profound vision/Remembering in a ceremony from “2016”. The capture I used is of the Maloka where I had the Powerful Visions/Remembeing…

Years ago I was taking part of a ceremony/retreat on a mountain in the Amazon jungle Peru. I remember starting to get bombarded with all of these visions of me judging myself.. at first I was annoyed and wondering why this was a part of my ceremony. Why was I seeing past judgements I had made throughout my life...

Well, I was just about to find out!

The visions started getting more intense and at the time felt “hurtful/painful” to see/feel who I had been and how I had acted towards myself, I tried to stop it all but it just got more intense the more I pushed it away. Soon I found myself sobbing and oh ya, I was full on judging myself for seeing the judgements I had made on myself feeling how “damaging”this was to myself/vibration/frequency. I wanted to throw up from the intensity of the energy I was feeling/seeing/Remembering, and I did. I asked myself multiple times “how could I have been like this to myself”, then more judgements came flooding in, this time it was judgement of others!  OH MY GOODNESS..., the feeling I felt was so heavy and at the time felt so “disgusting” to me, in the moment it  felt like I didn’t belong in this Earth Reality anymore with all the resentment I held for myself and the way I judged others (I had a lot of victim energy come up with this). I remember feeling so uncomfortable in my own skin... WOW!! This intensity went on for hours.  I literally felt like my stomach was going to explode/errupt out the side of me. I had never felt anything even remotely this intense in my life before.

Best way to describe it was like Grenades/explosives blowing up in my Solar Plexus to the point I actually “thought” a hole blew out the side of me spilling on to the floor (didn’t happen but TRULY felt like it). This was all crazy to me in the moment… then out of nowhere I asked myself, why?, why was I seeing all this..., please, please show me...

Boom! All of the sudden I was guided to realize/see/feel/remember SO MANY THINGS. One was that all of these judgements where a part of the “EGO”. At this place in my journey I was new to ego and what that meant. I had a different understanding of it growing up feeling it was arrogance/knows better type energy.

I was getting my first understanding of how the ego worked, this was a GAME CHANGER for me yet just the beginning of such a powerful understanding and remembering.

Next, the “pain” and explosions stopped in my stomach. At this point I was so grateful to be alive with no hole blown out the side of me. I was then gently guided to feel and see that ALL of my judgements and the emotions of it all  were being buried/stored in my Energy Body, was then guided to see that all kinds of buried and suppressed emotions were being held in my stomach/solar plexus as dense energy. I knew we carried energy but not at all the way I was so clearly guided to see through this experience. I was being given a guided physical tour of my ego/energy body and how it all worked, WOW..!

I would hold a judgement of myself and instantly I would feel it in my stomach, my universe/higher self was showing me in real time/live how I/we bury energy and where it was being buried. Then i’d have another emotion/story pop up and boom felt it in my heart and so on through the energy body, also seeing/feeling the old story/trauma/belief attached to this pain in my body. This was absolute magic to me, especially after what I had just been going through to see/feel it all.

This is where things get a little more interesting. This is where I started seeing/remembering/feeling judgements Others had made of Me. I was seeing judgements thrown at me since childhood. WOW, WOW, WOW! I thought I was going through it earlier! Now I was being shown/feeling HOW I received/accepted/took on/buried/stored the judgements from others. I was seeing that I believed/accepted almost everything I was judged on and I was building this all into my identity as my own beliefs,

Oh my goodness gracious was this tough to see feel and remember. So intense, so disheartening and yet I was feeling some sort of relief. The relief was coming from me starting to see/realize I had taken on everyone’s judgement or belief of me. I had decided to allow myself to be the person I was being judged as, I was owning it all as my own.

This was the game changer of all game changers for me. This is where I came to see that out of all of these people, making all of these judgements... none of them actually knew me, not one. This includes parents/family and close “friends”, this included ME. Yes, this included myself. I came to see that I didn’t even know who I was, let alone anyone else in my life. I saw that we only see fragments of people lives and those fragments or pieces are only what they/we show on the surface/outside. We don’t see the person from the core of their being before we judge. We just blindly judge with no care or thought to how this may be received until after we’ve done it. We judge ourselves and others so easily and freely Like it’s a job, then judging ourselves for judging. I came to see how toxic this loop was/is to our energetic body/field/reality seeing and feeling how it was stored throughout my body as “density/dysfunction” and how it all played into/created my identity.

My entire life/identity had been built upon my acceptance of outside judgement from people who never truly new me because “I” didn’t even know me. It was MY choice to receive those judgements and hold them as my own. It was MY choice to judge myself and believe what I was saying, it was MY choice to judge others not knowing the effect it may have on them or myself in the moment and down the road. It was MY choice to build my identity around everything I believed outside myself.

It is now MY choice to take full responsibility to always stand in my TRUTH, NEVER Judge myself, anyone or anything as I now see/FEEL how this effects our lives on an energetic level, everyone and everything around us, including beautiful Gaia. Seeing feeling that judgement is a Choice/Decision we make unconsciously in the moment when we are not Observing ourselves (words/actions/thoughts). Realizing it is ME that most choose to see/feel what I have created for myself and now decide to See/Feel/Resolve/dissolve/Clear from my Existence/Reality through daily action/inner work.

I will share more on my realization of judgement in other posts down the road as this becomes the final piece to the Ego release/surrender/“death” phase of our journey. This for me being one of the most FREEING/POWERFUL/PROFOUND parts of my Journey….

Here are a few Powerful Alignment Questions I repeatedly asked myself to stay centered in my Truth…

Do I know who I truly am Deep down inside..?

Does it feel good when others judge me..?

Do I know who others truly are enough that I believe I can judge them, not ever truly knowing that person or person’s full story, what they’ve been through/carry..?

Do I realize all Experiences are Growth Experiences and Judging someone/thing means I am not allowing myself to see/feel the bigger picture/Truth from my Highest Heart/Knowing/Truth..?

Remembering at some point along the journey ALL JUDGENT must be Resolved/dissolved/cleared from  within to move through the Ego phase… it’s up to us to take Action in the moment as they come up to Resolve/Dissolve/Clear from our reality by Taking Responsibility for Our Energy/Choices/Actions/Beliefs we held/hold.

Shared from my own unique journey/Experiences, I am honored to be part of this Beautiful Container with you all, in Gratitude/Appreciation and Respect… I LOVE YOU…!!🤍✨💎